A Hoofin We Will Go
Along the way we have been called many things other than our known title as a Hoofer. What exactly is a Hoofer? Well it's a fictitious term that I developed that is a Pronoun to describe: any person who takes a Woofer on leash to a destination that brings joy to all involved. It can also be used as a verb. Let's use it in a sentence to prove my grammatical brilliance.:) The energized Hoofer hoofed past my house the other day with Charlie by her side. Although these terms would not be found in the Webster dictionary, one can hear it being used frequently in households across Middletown. It brings me immense satisfaction to hear our customers use this "Hoofer" term in its various state either in conversation, via text, or in an email. They all know EXACTLY what a Hoofer is, but do you? Below are a few variations of the word that I have heard in the past that require further clarification. Afterall, we have an image to uphold.
Is that a Heffer?
By definition a heffer is a young female cow that has no offsprings. Pictured here is Johna and as you can see she definitely isn't a young female cow and she has two offsprings by the name of Mya and Grayson to prove the definition wrong. Now Miss Darla, this beautiful Great Dane is often mistaken for a cow during our walks. I am almost positive the absence of her utters and the lack of "mooing" should be enough to prove she isn't a Heffer. Darla can empathize with our plight too as she is often called various names during our walk; a horse being the other. Given her sweet nature she just goes with it. A cow is a cow as a Great Dane is a Great Dane and a Hoofer is a Hoofer; it's really that easy.
Is that a Hooter?
By definition a "Hooter" is one of the following: 1) a nose 2) an electrical device that makes a loud noise, often to mark the start and end of work in a factory 3) a woman's breast. Let's debunk these ill-introduced comparisons once and for all. A Hoofer does have a "nose" but we only take pride or give attention to it when we "sniff" out a possible "doody accident" in the house or a Woofer with excess gas that could lead to a stomach situation. A nose definitely is useful, but not something that defines us. We "mark" the end of our work day when our timers going off, our last update sent, and the transition from of our "hoofer" gear into more stylish everyday gear takes place. Also our work environment couldn't be more different then some factory conditions. We aren't involved in a monotonous activity, we aren't feeling overcrowded in our environment, and long hours never take place.
Lastly, we all know the infamous "Hooters" and their tightly fitted shirts. This has occurred on occasion when our company shirts have shrunk in the dryer to our dismay. Although all of our Hoofin' has put us in a position to be able to pull off this tight fitted fashion, we prefer modesty and a baggy comfortable shirt instead. So no Hooters need apply!
Once a Hoofer Always a Hoofer
We now know what a Hoofer is not and what it is, but what makes it such an honor to be called one? It's the people behind the Pronoun of course. They are problem solvers, efficient, diligent, caring, informed, loving, playful, energized, conscientious, responsible, and professional. Not everyone can be called a Hoofer. It is something that is earned. Who determines this honorable status? The Woofers of course! They sniff out the sincerity of all Hoofers to be sure they are taking on this role with the same values, cares, and intentions as the owner. As you can see, although jokingly we have been called a few of those beforementioned words, once you meet a Hoofer there is no mistaken us. We are a force to be reckoned with and we will be Hoofin' until we can't "hoof no more!" Rumor has it that "Hoofer" will be added in the next Merriam-Webster Dictionary edition along with a visual of us walking our Woofers so the reader will not mistaken the phrase again. So next time you pass a Hoofer on the road, be sure to yell out "hey Hoofer" as we will always respond because we know exactly who you are speaking to!
Written by: Karen Kane (the original Hoofer)