The Dirty Truth: Poop Happens

"When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go"

A dialogue not often spoken about in the Hoofer world, but certainly something worth discussing among our Woofers. We run the spectrum of places in which our Woofers prefer to go: (names are withheld to protect the privacy of our Woofers!:)

* Some prefer pooping indoors

* Some only on the perimeter of the property

* Some even eat it (YUCK but we still love him)

* Some perform a pre-poop dance

* Some request to have their butt's wiped

* Some allow us to catch it with a bag

* Some like to balance on a rock

* Some like to have their poop land in pachysandra(doesn't make for easy clean up)

* Some prefer to poop and walk as they don't want to waste time

* Some will go in the exact same spot everytime

* Some will quickly cover their piles up

* Some do a 360 degree turn while doing it; something about centrifugal force

* Lastly, some choose leaf piles (kids keep away from the leaf piles)

Nothing excites the description of their woofer's poop more then the new puppy owners.  They always want the gritty details such as appearance, consistency, the number of times, etc.  I tell my Hoofers to give as much detail as they can to these Woofer's owners as there is much to learn from this excrement.  

If  Your Poop Could Talk What Would It Say?

A closer look at this excrement could reveal parasites, ring worm, the byproduct of a high fat diet, environmental factors, intestinal woes, internal bleeding, etc.  I read this article and found it informative as well as instructional as to what to feed your Woofer to get them back on the mends. Please note there are times that you will need to take a sample to the vet and this article will help in deciphering when.  Hope you take the time to read it as the dirty truth about their poop tells a much bigger story.

Need to Void?  Let's try and avoid.....

As a Hoofer, on our hoofin'  journey, it is always a risk we take in suburbia that we may be yelled at by a homeowner because of the gift that can be left on that plush green lawn.  Our solution?  We are cognizant as to where they go and depending on the Woofer we have some cooperative ones that will allow us to lay a bag under their rump as to not have this fecal mess touch a blade of grass.  Now that is talent!  Unfortunately, there are those circumstances where the Woofer gives us no warning in order for us to prepare.  Like the time I was walking the street in Red Bank and one of my Woofers let loose in front of Tiffany's jewelry store. I made no eye contact, looked down at all times, quickly picked up the mound, and pretended it NEVER happened.  Luckily we were not caught, but who knows we may have been captured on video!

Unloose the Caboose Archer

So in closing "poop happens" and comes with the territory of being a Hoofer and a Woofer.  I like to glamorize my job by calling myself a poopologist.  If you think about it, we are studying this as to whether we need to alert the customer on anything and it sounds better then a "poop picker upper!"

So, it's a part of life as "poop happens" and if it's is just not your thing to pick up after your Woofer or your kids refuse; there's always "When Doody Calls!"

Written by: Karen Kane (the original Hoofer)

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Hours of Hoofin

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Middletown, Rumson, Red Bank, and Fair Haven, New Jersey

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