A Woofer's Declaration

Updated: Nov 4, 2019

When I was a little girl I couldn't wait for the 4th of July....a time to fill our pool bag with junk food to bring to the firework display, a time to gather with all my friends as we lay on our big blanket looking into the evening sky, and a time in which I got to stay up really late. It also marked the beginning of the summer when the fire flies would soon be buzzing by and I would attempt to catch one to put in a jar. Fortunately for me, those buggers were easy to catch. Not owning a dog at that time, I was completely clueless about some of their feelings about this day of independence. They aren't enjoying the night's festivities, they are searching for cover.

Let's take a moment and put ourselves in their paws. My girl Sadie, pictured above, is NOT a fan at all. Her evenings usually entail settling in with her deer antler, minding her own business, then without warning the booms start happening. The first sound sets her into a state of panic, she starts pacing, excessively drooling, and will even potty on the floor. Not a celebratory moment for her at all.

Lucky for Sadie, I am empathetic to her fears and now view the fireworks much differently today. I prepare her for this event every year with a thunder jacket, relaxing music, and some calming tabs. I wanted to share this link to serve as a checklist this fourth for all the Woofers whom aren't really fans on this day. Above is Sadie staring at me and asking with her eyes for me to make the fireworks stop....wish I could.

The Woofer Declaration of Independence

Above is Sayla, shouting from the rooftops, ok maybe from her street, The Woofer's Declaration that her and her fellow woofers drafted and would like to see implemented on the 4th of July. Her Woofer party is gaining momentum within the state legislature and with some heavy campaigning, she has no doubt this bill will soon pass with an unanimous vote.

We do declare that:

· All dry food shall be accompanied with either wet food or brown gravy. People food will be added as we see fit on Sundays too!

· Kongs shall be available and fully stuffed at all times; preferably topped off with peanut butter.

· On rainy days, should a woofer not want to use the outdoor facilities that shall not be forced. Indoor accidents will be overlooked.

· Fireworks will NEVER happen again. In place of this will be "bed-ins" to demonstrate our thanks for our independence.

· Vet visits will be followed up with a visit to the local ice cream store.

· Hoofer visits shall be led in a manner we see fit. If we would like to replace the long walk with a 30min butt scratch so be it.

· Bath frequencies shall be determined only by the woofer receiving the bath.

· A treat dispenser shall be installed in every household and public dwellings in an area that is accessible at all times.

It is when the above conditions have been met that Woofer freedom can be felt by all. Now that's a Fourth of July Woofers across the United States wouldn't mind celebrating.

Written by: Karen Kane (the original Hoofer)

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